BGO Discussion Forum

My wife didn't grow up in a world around firearms. I introduced her to firearms. She has shed alot of misconceptions about firearms over the years we have been married. she have even carried (since she has a GFL). She don't however have the thought process or belief that we need a massive arsenal (like me ).

It's definitely the latter. He is real passive with her. Trading up will cost him about $200 grand, before alimony and child support.

God forbid she has to actually experience how long it takes for the police to respond. A lot can happen in 5 - 10 minutes.

My wife understands but says that I can be obsessive about it. She just doesn't know what I know and sometimes her atttiude is that faith will carry us through and my attittude is more "Praise the Lord and Pass the ammunition!" She has been the the range a couple of tims with me and says that she just wants to shoot, not the self-defense stuff

One thing my wife does is ask how much did it cost, (wrong question babe) when she does that I just hug her and tell her I love her. Whatever works.

I might have to use that method, I usually say something like: "You see...what happened was..."

This is why I'm not giving my wife any static about going to Las Vegas with her girlfriends next month.

My wife is very supportive of my hobby. She has her CCW also and has her own collection of six pistols. We go to the range together a lot. In fact she's encouraging me to buy an AK 47 (or any other rifle I want) for Christmas to add to my collection. Tonight she even suggested if I wanted I could get a SIG556 She's from the Philippines so I think she has a different attitude towards firearms than most American women do.

So I have a very interesting situation. She is not my wife but my GF, really an ex that i broke up with over the summer but we are in the process of talking things out and getting back together. It is a bit of a story but essentially we actually broke up over several guns I purchased over the summer that she had not know about yet. I had relocated to Florida and was going to see my family in Jersey. The only person who knew I had the firearms yet was my father and he expressed wanting to go to the range with me. While it is not legal for me to carry in Jersey it is OK for me to legally own and transport them to the range, which we did with no problem. The problem arose when I was flying back home to florida. I was flying through New York because it was a direct flight. When I went to declare my firearms they called over the Port Authority Police who conduct the checks, unloaded and all that stuff. The officer asked me if I had a new york state fire arms permit. Well of course I didnt because I am not from new york. Long story short I was arrested on weapons charges and spent 3 days in Rikers Island for them to release me and drop the charges but keep my weapons.

Needless to say shit hit the fan and we broke up because of this incident. And mind you this is not just a random GF/BF relationship. We have been together almost 10 years. So fast forward to recent month or so and we have been talking things over and working on getting back together. So over the weekend she shent me a text saying that she was very uncomfortable with the idea of me carrying a gun and felt my efforts would be better spent doing something like learning martial arts or something like that. I told her when she got a chance we would talk about it.

That leads us to our conversation last night. I have come to find out she is VERY adverse to the idea of owning and carrying guns, mainly due to some very negetive things that have happend in her family on her mom and dads side. On her fathers side her grandfather and great grandfather were for all intensive purposes gangsters back in the day. Her great grandfather killed 2 of his ex wifes, ran out of a few towns for some crimes and ultimately ended up killing himself. She has another cousin who she is close with who's father killed their mom and some other wild stuff. On her moms side she has several step brothers who got them selves in bad situations and to this day are still in jail.

Then there were the regular misconception arguments. Why do you need a gun. Nothing has ever happend that you need a gun. You know all the regular stuff people come up with for thinking we are crazy or paranoid. The funny part is these are actually the easy ones for me to deal with.


I am wondering how I deal with her hangups that come from things that have happended in her family.

That's a tough one. You may not be able to change her mind with what all she had experienced-however, you may need to ask her a couple of questions the next time the conversation comes up:

Would things been any different for her relatives if they continued the same actions but used a different weapon?
Does her lack of faith lies in you who have the ability to make the right choices everyday not to harm others or with the weapon that can't hurt anyone until it is picked up by someone who is intent on doing harm?

With some of the things that you said she and her family experienced, she may need to talk with a professional to deal with those issues on a deeper level. The other tough one is how do you not lose your hobby, your sport, your belief and not lose her? Don't know if anyone will have a answer for you. I sincerely hope there is a level of compromise between the two of you, the world isn't getting any nicer. If she is not able to put her faith in you, your skill with your weapon and your ability to make an appropiate life or death decision if the situation arises-then who will she put her faith in?

Yea I am pretty sure there is no clear cut answer.. The funny part was how some of her, NORMAL, misconseptions were just so completely irrational. I am a pretty big guy, 6ft 250. She had it firmly in her mind that somebody my size should be able to handle themselves in any situations, IE.. if somebody was in arms reach and pulled a gun on me and attacted me I should have some phyisical ability to handle that situatation. I was nearly at my wits end trying to get her to understand how insanely irrational that thought process was.
She also travels a LOT for work. In particular now to central and south america on a daily basis. In particular to places like Columbia and Mexico. So she feels if she can travel safely in those places there is no reason I or anybody should ever need to carry a gun here in the states.
I was a touch misleading in saying she is completely adverse to guns. Just the need of me or anybody to need to carry them. Because of her families past she feels they lead to either jail or death. Ill have a long and fun time working this out, if ever. I am trying to get her to understand there is a massive difference from somebody running around in a mob with a gun or just your regular dude standing on the corner with an illegal hand gun than somebody liscenced and very well practiced with carrying and deploying such a weapon. She said if something was to happen and i used my gun I would only ended up killing somebody innocent and then going to jail for murder. I had to laugh extreemly hard at that one since she has never a day in her life seen me shoot. I think she forgot I also spent the last 10 years in the army and my unit got to do nothing but play with small arms

Anyway thanks for the reply man. Just needed to vent my frustrations.

At first my wife was little apprehensive about my gun but now shes slowly beginning to come around. We went to a gun show last weekend and surprising to me starts looking at pistols and points out one she wants. She even pointed a small holster she could use. I started cheesing from ear to ear. Now if I could get her to change her mind about hunting then everything would be better.

No problem. Been there-Done that with the 1st wife, I understand where you're at.

She likes the idea of having several weapons in the home for saftey. She likes that secure feeling of knowing that if something is to pop off that it will get resolved in the blink of a eye. I plan on getting my CWP here in VA and she has expressed interest in the idea of her getting one in the near future.

My girl really enjoys shooting and love going to the range with me. For over a year she's been saying the she is going to take the CCW class but she hasn't yet.